Share the Mess

Messy buns are my life! I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t put my hair up in a bun. I hope I never see the day when buns go out of style because buns are one of my go-to methods to tame the mane.


I do have to give credit to my lion’s mane on this one because one thing I do have going for me in my “bun formation” is how thick my hair is. Since my hair is so thick, it stays up in a bun pretty easily after I wrap my hair tie around it two or three times. The texture of my curls also help keep it in place so for that, I am grateful.

The down side to my thick and “texture-full” hair, though, is after I consolidate it all in one place on my head, sometimes I feel like the leaning Tower of Pisa.


No joke, I have to make sure my bun is in the correct area of my head because I will either be straining my neck or feeling off balance most of the day.

For those of you who maybe struggle with getting your hair up in a bun, I’ll share a simple tip that works for me: put your head down/face the floor when you’re collecting all your hair. Continue to keep your head down when you’re putting in your hair tie and only lift your head back up when you put the finishing touches on it.

Basically, I’m trying to use gravity to my advantage here rather than trying to fight with it by keeping my head straight up the whole time. I know it may sound weird to be totally blind to what your bun looks like while you’re forming it, but if you do it enough times, you’ll get good at it. Or, you’ll be like me and hope for the best ;).

And don’t misunderstand me – by no means am I saying I have the right formula for how to create the “perfect messy bun.” That’s what I’ve found works best for me and my hair type.

However, consolidating all my curly Qs in one place reminds me of the times I try to keep certain things about me all to myself rather than sharing them with others.

In a way, it’s as if I’m putting beautifully broken pieces of me in a little drawer that may look pristine on the outside, but is a little beat up and delicate on the inside.

And just like the problem I run into with my bun, if I don’t handle pieces of me correctly or put them in their proper place, I’ll be compensating for them every day of my life.

The specifics of my approach to sharing personal things about myself might be different than yours, but each approach should have the motivation of putting brokenness or sin in its proper place – a place God has ordained as good.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” {James 5:16}

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” {Galatians 6:2}

The proper place God has instituted for sharing parts of ourselves that are messy is amongst each other and through prayer. We don’t have to keep it all to ourselves and store it up inside. We are to confess it to one another and to God so that we may be healed.

You don’t have to be afraid to share your brokenness and faults with others. Of course, use discernment in who you entrust it to and examine why you’re entrusting it to them, but don’t hesitate out of embarrassment.

But if you’re still fearful of sharing due to pride or judgement from others, ask God to help you stop believing the lies of the evil one and give you the courage to share it with others so you can begin to heal.

It might feel uncomfortable when you’re sharing, but sometimes you’re blind to the good that’ll come out of uncomfortable situations. And the only way to get your vision back is to do something out of your comfort zone.

CURLY CUE #9: Don’t store up your mess for fear of rejection, share it with the promise of rejuvenation.

What do you need to share with someone this week?


Brenna, the girl with curly hair ❤

I’m also thankful for my local church. Sharing my brokenness and need of Christ with them is so healing. Find out more about my SUPER church, Centerville Christian Fellowship.

One Comment

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  1. Oh Brenna, this is so good. So true. All of us are just messy buns !! What a clever way to share God’s word with us. Thank you so much !! There truly is freedom in sharing pieces of ourself — our burdens — with others. And oh yes! How powerful are the prayers of others offered for us !! 🙏🏼


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